I bet you’ve experienced that feeling of being unsafe and insecure about yourself. It is a painful feeling of insecurity that disrupts your life. It is also one of the primary causes of serious mental illnesses. But What causes insecurity? And More importantly, How to stop being insecure?
Insecurity is a negative feeling(s) that can lead to many mental & psychological ailments. It interferes with our ability to function and keep up with life’s duties every day. Moreover, it impacts our personal and professional relationships. That’s because being insecure elicits feelings of uncertainty, inadequacy, and doubtfulness. In return, it decreases our self-esteem and confidence. Thus, it leads to serious mental health conditions like anxiety, paranoia, and depression.
Unfortunately, mental illness is still taboo in most societies due to a lack of awareness. People don’t even like discussing mental health issues, let alone finding proper ways to cope with them.
However, insecurity is not abnormal behavior or a flaw of character. Psychologists say it is just another emotion, like anger, empathy, fear, and joy. Interestingly, all human emotions and thoughts are controlled by specific neurotransmitters. For instance, serotonin regulates your mood, sleep, and appetite. Likewise, cortisol is known as the stress hormone, and it’s responsible for controlling all anxiety and reactions to danger.
A side note: Since we’re talking about neurotransmitters, you might be interested to know more about how to dopamine detox your body.
Although insecurity can be triggered by many factors, the most common one is a traumatic event or emotional & physical abuse. Failure, neglect, lack of confidence, jealousy, and unhealthy habits are also factors that can give birth to insecurity.
How to cope with insecurity?
Have you ever felt doubtful about your shortcomings? Bullied in high school for being a nerd? Went through workplace harassment? Had a traumatized childhood? Been in an emotionally abusive relationship?
Given all the above, developing a sense of insecurity is inevitable. That’s because early trauma can have a lasting impact on our psychological development. However, this doesn’t mean that it isn’t curable or cannot be treated. So to overcome insecurity, you need to trace it back & try to find the reasons that triggered it.
However, to help you in your journey of recovery! In this article, we will list 10 coping skills you can use to battle your insecurity & overcome it.
1. Practice self-compassion
‘’Be kind! Because everyone you meet is fighting their battle’’.
You’re always told to be compassionate for others, but what about yourself? Not loving yourself enough is one of the major triggers of insecurity. It doesn’t mean you should feel pity. That’s because Self-pity and self-compassion are so different.
Self-pity stems from feeling sorry for yourself or feeling like you’re not enough. In other words, it is a negative representation of your self-image, and this worsens your insecurities. Whereas self-compassion is about being forgiving, understanding, and kind to yourself in hard times.
Self-compassion is very important in the face of negative emotions and our pitfalls in life. At the end of the day, you cannot force others to love or support you. Still, you can do it yourself!
You might be wondering, how am I supposed to do that?
Well, there are a trillion ways I might say! You can start by eliminating self-destructive habits such as staying up too late at night and eating trashy food. It’s surprising how good your life would be just by changing negative habits. You can also be kind to yourself by doing more sports and reading more of our content (joking!). Or, maybe you can socialize with people you love, and try new hobbies!
Moreover, self-compassion isn’t always about adopting good habits. It’s also about how you perceive yourself as a person. In other words, how you see yourself determines how you treat yourself. For instance, it is hard to practice self-love, if you think you’re unworthy of love.
So, you should reexamine your self-image, and accept your flaws, imperfections, and insecurities. That’s because, when you accept yourself fully, it gets easier to work on yourself and transform into a better YOU!
2. Say no to envy
Envy is your biggest enemy. Don’t see others and get jealous of their achievements. No one shows their struggle and miseries over the internet. You just can’t judge someone based on what they choose to show you from their life.
Besides this, you’re your own competition. Compete with yourself. Make every day better than yesterday. Work on your personal and professional development. Believe it or not, when you feel satisfied with your life, there is no chance to catch insecurity.
Also, envy is very distracting because it makes you focus on others instead of working on yourself. It only consumes your energy and evokes feelings of rage, loathing, and jealousy. Still, imagine investing your energy in improving yourself & your life instead of envying others.
Moreover, being envious will hinder you from connecting with others and you as a person!
3. Cling to hope
Let’s face it! It’s almost impossible to always stay positive and optimistic in such a complex & unpredictable world. Feelings of loss, despair, and hopelessness will inevitably swarm your life. Therefore, it is very important to not lose hope in ourselves & others. Hope is our primary mechanism to deal with life’s darkest moments and hardships. It is a form of psychological immunity that keeps us going in the face of plight.
Frankly, waking up with the belief that today will be better than yesterday doesn’t change much. But, at least it gives you the energy needed to deal with your life’s problems to create actual change. I know you cannot change the world alone, but by being hopeful you inspire others & yourself to make it a better place.
So, try to cling to hope and be patient. You will never know what the future holds for you. Still, being hopeful and acting on it will help you improve your life & mitigate your insecurity.
4. Get emotionally independent
We’re in 2022 already, and it’s high time to realize that being independent financially and emotionally is fundamental for every person. You just cannot allow someone to play with your mental health and treat you like garbage. Emotional abuse and neglect are key elements in aggravating insecurity and anxiety in an individual. Therefore, be your own critic. Permit no one to destroy your self-esteem.
However, being emotionally independent begins with self-acceptance. When you’re satisfied with yourself, you quit seeking emotional validation from others. That’s how you establish emotional independence and maturity. Also, you should embrace the responsibility of your life & actions. That’s because it helps you grow and establish independence.
5. Seek spiritual help
Most human beings have some particular set of religious beliefs and values. They are part of our identity, and they partially construct our perception of reality & ourselves. Although our spiritual beliefs may not be welcomed by everyone, it doesn’t mean we should denounce them. That’s because spirituality is personal & subjective. There is no harm if we have a few spiritual beliefs that provide us with solace and peace.
I know that we live in a materialistic world based on hard science and numbers. Still, it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t resort to spirituality to reach a deeper understanding of ourselves. We can even use spirituality to understand our insecurities and overcome them.
Above this, spirituality doesn’t have rules or A-To-Do List. It is a haven wherein you’re free to reflect on yourself broadly. This can have a positive impact on your mental health. To know more, you can check the article below!
6. Acknowledge small achievements
”No success is too small if it leads to another’’. Cherish your brief moments of accomplishment. Give yourself applause and appreciation. Don’t wait for others to acknowledge your triumphs. Do self-evaluation, learn from your mistakes, improve yourself and move on. In the end, minor achievements lead to big ones, and they play a major part in coping with your insecurity.
7. Embrace your failures
Contrary to the above-stated point, accepting your defeats and failures is also of great value while coping with insecurity. Not everyone is born perfect, are they? Even the grandest of scientists and entrepreneurs have seen failures somewhere in their lives. As said by William Ritter, ‘’Failure is not the opposite of success, it’s a part of success’’. Therefore, never let your downfalls make a hurdle in the way of victory. Manage yourself, there is always much more to conquer than to lose.
8. Set boundaries
Not everyone is worthy of your precious time and space. Set healthy boundaries, be it your relationship or workplace. Don’t be a doormat for anyone who looks down upon you. Mutual respect and validation are important in every relationship from both sides. Learn to say ‘’No’’ when you don’t want something. Setting healthy boundaries is often a part of assertiveness. Moreover, it’s not possible to feel secure in an abusive and one-sided relationship.
How to stop being insecure in a relationship? Explore more about relationship insecurities.
9. Improve your lifestyle
Did you know that negative and unhealthy habits also disrupt your mental health? Well, now you do. Shifting to a healthy and good lifestyle helps prevent mental health illnesses. This may include quitting smoking, minimizing alcohol consumption, reducing obesity, sleeping properly, avoiding narcotics, and staying hydrated. These simple lifestyle modifications may work as a catalyst in your process of stopping being insecure. Moreover, exercise, meditation, and yoga may also contribute constructively.
10. Consult a health professional
If you’re still struggling with how to stop being insecure after all the drills, look for professional help. It’s not uncommon for people with physical illness to seek a physician’s consultation. Then why not for mental illness? Anything that is destroying you mentally and affecting your personal and professional life is serious!. Get up and get professional help. Ask your psychologist ‘’how to stop being insecure?’’. Several behavioral therapies help individuals with these kinds of issues. For example, ‘’Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)’’ is one of the most commonly practiced psychotherapies. It basically works on a person’s self-doubt, self-image, and self-awareness.
To sum up
Being insecure is as normal as being happy or annoyed. Every human has experienced it somewhere in their lifespan. Even though it may differ among people, there are several ways to explore how to stop being insecure. The above-mentioned coping strategies are thought to be the most beneficial of all. So what are you waiting for? Start working on your inner self and focus on your mental health to prevent anxiety and other mental health issues.